Please hold . . .

To the woman who called the office yesterday and couldn't understand a word I said and hung up when I tried to transfer you to someone who did speak Spanish:

I'm sorry. I have now learned how to say, "Yo no hablo espanol. Por favor espera." I'm ready now, you can call back anytime.

This is your brain on God

I just read a fascinating book called "How God Changes Your Brain." It's a new book by a neuroscientist about his research on what happens to your brain when you participate in spiritual activities. All of their studies concluded that religious experiences are really good for your brain and help to make it healthy, wealthy, and wise. In fact, here's a list they came up with of the eight best ways to maintain a healthy brain:

8. Smile. Seriously - smiling interrupts mood disorders and strengthens the brain's neural ability to maintain a positive outlook on life.

7. Stay intellectually active. Read books, watch educational tv, take classes, play chess, write in your diary. But don't do math exercises or crossword puzzles - apparently those don't help.

6. Consciously relax. Um, not by taking a nap or vegging in front of the tv, unfortunately. Try simple, repetitive activities such as knitting.

5. Yawn. That's right - yawning is good for you. It evokes neural activity in areas of the brain that are directly involved in generating social awareness and creating feelings of empathy. It relaxes you and brings you into a heightened state of cognitive awareness.

4. Meditate. There's even solid, scientific proof that if you meditate before taking a test you will significantly improve your score.

3. Aerobic Exercise. Vigorous exercise strengthens every part of the brain and has been proven to lengthen your neurological life. Also, the more intense exercise, the better. 24-hour run, anyone?

2. Dialogue with Others. Not talking about the weather or gossiping about who's dating whom. We're talking about abstract ideals like world peace and evolution and the beauty of the number pi.

1. Faith. Faith can be defined as the ability to trust our beliefs, even when we have no proof that such beliefs are accurate or true. Faith is equivalent with hope, optimism, and the belief that a positive future awaits us. It is "neurologically essential for maintaining motivation and good mental health."

That's it. Now you can all go out and become geniuses.

Dear Bloggers

I'm sorry, I took a month long break from blogging and reading other people's blogs but I'm back now. And as I caught up on all of your blogs today I remembered why blogging is so great. I laughed, I cried - your blogs moved me. I know, I'm way behind the times, but I have some comments that must be made:

Jason: I was extremely saddened to read that you are no longer blogging. Extremely saddened. Your blog was one of my faves. I know right now you feel like your blogging relationship is stagnant and going nowhere, but sometimes you just have to take a break to realize how much you truly love someone. I hope this happens to you and that you and your blog are reunited once again very soon.

Jenna: Your dreams make me laugh more than ever. And they have made me more aware of my own dreams, though I'm definitely not brave enough to blog about them. I love it. P.S. Your Rachel post was hilarious. I'm so proud to call you both my friends.

Madeline: I love your blog even though it makes me frustrated because you're so mysterious and I wish I knew you better. We should hang out sometime very soon . . . like this weekend.

Taylor: I enjoy your blog because it's very sophisticated and thoughtful. I appreciated your post about why your blog is called "Taking Effect" because I have actually pondered that before, so thanks.

Carli: I'm so sorry, if I'd read your blog a week ago when you'd posted it then perhaps I would have driven all the way up to Farmington just to bring you a Jamba Juice . . .

Pancakes: Going down in history as one of the funniest blogs of all time. You guys are musical geniuses and I am so proud to know all of you.

That's it everybody. I'll try and stay a bit more on top of my blogging from now on . . . my bad.